Believing is not seeing

(Picture of water village of Labuan)

I missed Ida while in Sabah, especially on Sundays. We were seated on the fourth row every week. Despite repeated callings from pastors to change seat so that we have different sitting partners, Ida and I did not make a move.

For Ida, it means having a "big-size" sister beside as her support to her weak knees when we walk to the altar to commune at the table. For me, it means nice company.

When I left for Sabah three months ago, I asked another sister to be with Ida on communion Sundays.

"She disappeared one week. Thank God that Jo was right behind me."

"I miss reading your sermon's summary in the blog..." Ida related to me last Sunday morning when I was back to my own town and my own church, Wesley Methodist.

Ida's expression of love opened my eyes the second time during that week to see what had been lacking in my last three months in Sabah - the fellowship with Christians and friends. While I have enjoyed much of the friendliness and kindness of my colleagues and new friends, I am deprived of the share of fellowship.

My faith was shaken when my blur vision recurred two Mondays ago while in Sandakan. I was engrossed in my eye problem that I was blind to the needs of people around me. Until few days later when we went to Labuan that I noticed my consultant limping badly. He had been telling me of his ankle pain for a week or so, and I was "blind" to it because of my own "blindness"!

I began to see his needs - insisting a visit to a doctor and a physiotherapy session and even saw that he should have loosened his shoe laces to take away some pressure on the swollen ankle.

But, I know the state of little faith I was in - unless I see, I won't believe there is a lesson for me to learn in the recurrence of the blur vision!

Then I met JoMel - face to face the first time. (Read her account here and here and here) I was touched over and over by her friendship and how she welcomed me into her home! For the first time after three months, I enjoyed a fellowship and with that, I began to see things beyond my eye vision.

By Wednesday, when I stepped into my eye doctor's clinic, when I did not see a word on the eye test chart with my left eye, I did not despair. I believe "without seeing" that His grace is sufficient for me.

Back to my own church on Sunday, the sermon's title - Believing is not seeing - what has that for me, the vision impaired one? It was as if the sermon has been specially prepared for me!

Believing without seeing were the women. They saw an empty tomb. They saw empty grave clothes. But they did not see the Lord. Nevertheless they believed. They were filled with ecstatic awe, because they believed.

When Jesus appeared to Thomas and invited him to touch His wounds, Jesus told Thomas, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed" (John 20:29). In other words, "Thomas, you think seeing is believing. You're mistaken, my friend. Believing is not seeing. Happy are those who, having not seen, still believe."

I believe with those words, Jesus is looking down the long tunnel of ages to come, including our age, even including my impaired vision, He is seeing millions of believers, including you and me, and He is affirming that we love Him and believe in Him, even though we have never seen Him.

(Note - this is meant to be posted last Sunday while in Sibu. But, I thought, I should perfect it. It had been a busy week. Reading this again today, I think, that's it! Hope you find some sense out of it!)