Do you have children sitting for a major examination? Bring them for a celebratory dinner before the examination, suggested a very inspiring Christian writer, Soo-Inn Tan.
By doing so, the parents send a very clear signal to their children that they are loved for who they are and not for how they perform.
It's exam season. A traditional Chinese family usually encourages their children to excel academically by promising them all sorts of rewards.Soo-Inn Tan continued,
The intentions may have been good but often the child ends up feeling that dad and mum are pleased with them only when they excel in school, only when they perform. The unfortunate message received is that I have to earn dad and mums' love by my performance. The lesson we learn is that love is conditional. It has to be earned. I must be good enough to receive love. You can see at once how this is at odds with a key biblical truth --- the fact that God's love is freely given.
I do want my children to work hard for their exams. But not because it is a way to earn the love of God or the love of their parents. I want my children to work hard because I want them to be good stewards of their lives and their potentialities (Matthew 25:14 - 30). I like to believe that if they are secure in their parents' love, my children will know something of the love of their heavenly Father. And secure in that love, they can be free to be their creative best.
Above all I want my children to know that I love them for who they are. In pale imitation of how my Heavenly father delights in me, I want my children to know that I delight in them. And so I take my children out for a good meal before their exams begin, and not after their exams as a reward for good results. I want them to know that their exam results, whatever that may be, will not change the fact that I love them.
Footnote - Pictures in this post were taken at the soft launch of "Global Handwashing Month" at Uk Daik Primary School on 24th October. My group of newspapers is partner to this project. It's always a joy and delight to be with the young ones!
6 comments:
Great sharing, Yan! And thanks, because it has never crossed my mind to hold the celebration before the exam - it's always the "after", and clearly it sends a wrong signal!
God bless and keep you! xD
If only ALL parents can realise this! I had boys (Form 5!) being beaten by their fathers should they lagged behind in any subject and my heart went out to them, when they told me their horror tales with tears streaming down their faces. All I could do was to offer comfort and solace; no use talking to the sick sickos (some teachers and headmasters even)! And I pray that the future would be a lot kinder to those unfortunate boys...
So nice of you to share this with me earlier, and now to read it here with the pictures from this project. I think I see you serving peanut butter and jelly (?) bread to the kids =).
I do hope all parents and teachers would remember this good lesson of yours.
I remember a very old and nice relative who always cooked mee sua and hard boiled eggs for her sons before they left for school in Kuching. She would always tell them that by eating the good luck noodles and eggs they would be successful. the sons turned out to be upright filial and men of good standing.
Her prayers and hardwork paid off. I admire such mothers like you and her.
Hope that all mothers are happy and positive about their children . May they always pray that their children keep God in their hearts too.
Thanks for sharing. We usually do our dinner immediately after the exams, even before the results are out. I think this is a better idea.
Hey! You've changed your layout. Very nice! A lot nicer than the previous one. So clever hor, you! This old man doesn't know how to do that! Hahahahaha!!!
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