Running on Empty

Chris asked recently, "Mummy, have you ever run on empty?" He meant driving my car with the gas tank gauge signaling EMPTY.

Yes, I once ran into empty. The car stopped. It was raining heavily outside. The petrol station was only a hundred meter away. A colleague on motorbike saw me in distress. He went to the petrol station and came back with a bottle of petrol and filled up the tank.

When you are running on empty, there is always someone coming to rescue. I remember this colleague - who remains a journalist to this day. Occasionally, I read his "by-line" in the Sun.

I have a childhood dream of losing my shoes while sitting at the jetty. I also dreamed of getting panic because I forgot to wear my shoes to school. It was desperate running on empty feet, even when it was in a dream.

Few years ago, I shared this dream with a group of Girls' Brigade Officers who were attending a leadership training course facilitated by me. The dream fitted in one of the sessions and I was prompted to share it - my inner secrets. One lady from Miri said this, "Madam, could it be because you were not fully prepared on some forthcoming events that you dreamed the dream?"

I thought she made quite a lot of sense. I conscientiously make an effort to be fully prepared way before hand for some upcoming events from that day on. And since then, I have not dreamed that dream!

When you are running on empty feet on some worrisome journeys, there is someone there to enlighten you how to run better! I do not need to be perturbed by it.

For the previous few weeks I had minimised my sleep because of busyness. I was physically exhausted. My schedule had become so packed that I could hardly find time to attend to needs of the children. Yes, the children have grown up. But, they do have needs like - talking to mummy, dinning out, some school activities to discuss. Rachel said, "Mummy, do you know that there is a new dining place at Wisma Sanyan?" Oh? I have not been to the place that we love to window shop and have pizza hut's deli wings or her favourite's "Mee Mamak" for ages!

On days like these, children would fill in the forms they need to turn in to the school, put in on the table in my bedroom, with a pen ready for mummy to sign! They would even request to car-pool with friends to tuition centres so that mummy does not need to rush!

When you are running on empty with no time, you could draw much form the loved ones - you know they are there, you know they care!

Then, at times, even when you are packed with church activities, you are actually running on empty spiritually even when you are using your gifts and talents. But, deep down, you know you are "dried-out".

I host a cell group (bible study group) in my house once a week. Members in the group would always help me navigate the spiritual rocky bumps or emptiness in the fellowship. Someone said that fellowship means people - imperfect but important fellow travelers on the highway to heaven! And more importantly,

If two or three people come together in my name,
I am there with them. - Matthew 18:20

With God's presence, even when our gas tank gauge signals EMPTY, we know we are never alone.