(Recycled post)
No aspect of Christian faith warms my heart more than knowing that God is my Father. Whether I am in joy, in sorrows, in tears, in laughers, in fears, when I come to my Father in prayers, with the utter of “My Father”, there is always a warm feeling that passes through my body! It is an inexpressible joy to know that I have a Father who loves me.
My father passed away when I was 20. My four younger siblings were 18, 15, 10 and 6 respectively. I do not have many memories of my father. Remembering my father is sort of “fears”. At 5 or 6, my father was seriously ill, I overheard the elders saying that the doctor said my father would die. So, for the next 15 years or so, whenever my father fell sick, I remembered what I had heard. I lived in fear that my father would die. Practically, it was an everyday’s affair, because my father was sick most of the time.
Recently, as I shared with mGf about the not-so-good memories of my father, some good memories came back.
My father passed away when I was 20. My four younger siblings were 18, 15, 10 and 6 respectively. I do not have many memories of my father. Remembering my father is sort of “fears”. At 5 or 6, my father was seriously ill, I overheard the elders saying that the doctor said my father would die. So, for the next 15 years or so, whenever my father fell sick, I remembered what I had heard. I lived in fear that my father would die. Practically, it was an everyday’s affair, because my father was sick most of the time.
Recently, as I shared with mGf about the not-so-good memories of my father, some good memories came back.
My father was a school teacher in the early days, before I was born. As far as my memories went, he was a businessman. My mother told me he was a school teacher before. I remember finding the treasures in his Chinese books collection. He was a Chinese scholar. Besides running around in the rubber garden, vegetable garden and beside the river, my childhood days were filled with these Chinese books ranging from stories, jokes to great literature works.
That was my young days. My father’s books filled my days…
I had just passed my 10th birthday when I entered my secondary school. I remember cycling three miles up and down the hilly road to school. My dad cycled with me to school on the first day. We had just moved from Sibu to Sarikei. I knew none of the classmates and was extremely scared. Dad stood outside the classroom for a long time watching over me even when class had begun. I still can remember a classmate remarked to her friend sitting next to her, “She thinks only she has father.”
That was my first day to Secondary school. My father was there for me …
After I completed my A level, I went to Simanggang (now it is called Sri Aman) for interview. I was accepted by a Chinese Private Secondary School to teach Chinese. When I came back to Sarikei (5-6 hour of bus journey on very bad road), my father said if I was to take up the job, I would need to bring a “maid” with me to take care of me. I could not imagine having a maid with me when I was merely earning 300 dollars a month! But, father’s words were emperor’s order at home – nothing could change this order. I was upset and informed the school that I would not be joining them. I left Sarikei for Sibu where I was employed as a translator (translating news from Chinese to English) in my present company.
That was my first job. My father was there for me too …
During those days (or even now), I started work early and did not go back for lunch. My mother would always prepare a lunch box for me to bring to work. And there were surprises day after day. During the days when my mother was away, my father would also wake up early to prepare lunch box for me. My father did one step more, he put the lunch box on my car’s wiper to make sure I don’t leave home without the lunch box. And the lunch boxes had even more surprises!
That was the days when I started building my career. My father was there for me too…
The reason I chose not to remember my father was because my father, though a caring father, was not a great husband to my mother. Last year, I wrote this –
In fact, from the little woman’s point of view – The greatest gift a child can have is a father who loves and respects the mother and does not tolerate disobedience or disrespect on the part of their children.
How ignorant I had been! I had been that disobedient and disrespectful child to my father – yet he loved me enough to be there for me when I most needed him. He was there at every milestone of my life. Shakespeare said, “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth is a thankless child.” And, I have been guilty of being thankless! There has not been any recognition whatsoever of what I have learnt through these many years from my father. It’s an over-inflated view of self!
This year, this poem by Roy Lessin gives me new meaning of my father –
A Dad is respected because he gives his children leadership…
A Dad is appreciated because he gives his children care…
A Dad is valued because he gives his children time…
A Dad is loved because he gives his children the one thing they treasure most – himself.
- Roy Lessin
Dad, you had been a great father – I wish I had said so some 30 or more years ago!
That was my young days. My father’s books filled my days…
I had just passed my 10th birthday when I entered my secondary school. I remember cycling three miles up and down the hilly road to school. My dad cycled with me to school on the first day. We had just moved from Sibu to Sarikei. I knew none of the classmates and was extremely scared. Dad stood outside the classroom for a long time watching over me even when class had begun. I still can remember a classmate remarked to her friend sitting next to her, “She thinks only she has father.”
That was my first day to Secondary school. My father was there for me …
After I completed my A level, I went to Simanggang (now it is called Sri Aman) for interview. I was accepted by a Chinese Private Secondary School to teach Chinese. When I came back to Sarikei (5-6 hour of bus journey on very bad road), my father said if I was to take up the job, I would need to bring a “maid” with me to take care of me. I could not imagine having a maid with me when I was merely earning 300 dollars a month! But, father’s words were emperor’s order at home – nothing could change this order. I was upset and informed the school that I would not be joining them. I left Sarikei for Sibu where I was employed as a translator (translating news from Chinese to English) in my present company.
That was my first job. My father was there for me too …
During those days (or even now), I started work early and did not go back for lunch. My mother would always prepare a lunch box for me to bring to work. And there were surprises day after day. During the days when my mother was away, my father would also wake up early to prepare lunch box for me. My father did one step more, he put the lunch box on my car’s wiper to make sure I don’t leave home without the lunch box. And the lunch boxes had even more surprises!
That was the days when I started building my career. My father was there for me too…
The reason I chose not to remember my father was because my father, though a caring father, was not a great husband to my mother. Last year, I wrote this –
In fact, from the little woman’s point of view – The greatest gift a child can have is a father who loves and respects the mother and does not tolerate disobedience or disrespect on the part of their children.
How ignorant I had been! I had been that disobedient and disrespectful child to my father – yet he loved me enough to be there for me when I most needed him. He was there at every milestone of my life. Shakespeare said, “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth is a thankless child.” And, I have been guilty of being thankless! There has not been any recognition whatsoever of what I have learnt through these many years from my father. It’s an over-inflated view of self!
This year, this poem by Roy Lessin gives me new meaning of my father –
A Dad is respected because he gives his children leadership…
A Dad is appreciated because he gives his children care…
A Dad is valued because he gives his children time…
A Dad is loved because he gives his children the one thing they treasure most – himself.
- Roy Lessin
Dad, you had been a great father – I wish I had said so some 30 or more years ago!
2 comments:
beautifully written. i can omos feel yr father's character. brings back memories of my dad. he had the 'snake' and was expected to die n i was only a little boy. i cried n cried as ppl came to pay their last respects. he didnt die, he explained later he had to fight on and on to stay alive as we were all too young n my mum was not able to earn an income
A very touching writing on your father. Every word is full of love.
P.S. saw your comment on Sarawakiana's page and decided to visit your blog.
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